The Temptation of Being Friends with Your Tenants

Written on January 27, 2015 by , updated on October 15, 2018

Friends with TenantsI don’t get strong, intuitive signals often, so when I do, I listen.

When a good friend of mine asked whether she could move into my rental property, I instinctively knew before I even had to ponder the thought that the answer had to be “no.” We had an awkward moment, sure. But that one uncomfortable afternoon was far better than losing a dear friend.

Michael Corleone’s line from “The Godfather: Part III” sums it up well: “Friends and money — oil and water.”

The Most Common Problem


Renting to Friends

Renting to your friends is not a good idea.

The problem with renting to a friend is that resentment is bound to set in — from both sides.

Your friend might resent you making any sort of profit from him or her, and you might feel funny about that too. But if you don’t charge the going rate, you’ll probably feel cheated every month when the lower amount comes in.

Even worse, friends might feel as if they can pay their other bills first, possibly being late with rent because you, as a friend, will “understand.”

Friends tend to take advantage of the situation, not taking the landlord-tenant relationship as seriously as you do.

In my opinion, it’s best not to rent to friends if you care about keeping the friendship.

Related: Tip #21 – Don’t Rent to Friends

Renting to Existing Friends

If you’ve already rented to a friend or have let your landlord-tenant relationship morph into a friendship one, you can still salvage the situation.

Put Everything in Writing

Draw up a lease. You can use a state-specific lease that you customize. Check out our list of recommended legal forms sites, or you can search for templates from government websites on

Put your exact rules and expectations on the lease. For example, if rent is due on the first of the month, state that there will be a late fee of $X if the rent is paid after that. Many states also allow daily late fees, which help provide incentive for getting a late payment in sooner rather than later.

Related: Landlord-Tenant State Laws and Regulations

Document any rules that are important to you. Sit down with your friend to discuss the lease. Let him or her know that this is your business and that you need to enforce the lease, including a possible eviction if the lease is broken.

It’s better to discuss this upfront when friends are involved than to try to enforce your policy during an episode. That’s usually when friendships are lost.

Related: Always Get it in Writing

Use a Management Company

Should I Hire a Property ManagerOne way this might work is to turn the management duties over to a property management company.

Although property managers are not cheap, it’s a small price to pay to keep the friendship – if you don’t get bitter about the extra expense.

Explain to your friend that he or she will deal with a property manager, not you, regarding everything to do with the unit. That way, when your friend can’t operate a pet rescue out of your property or pay the rent in installments, you can blame the rules on the property management company.

Related: Should I Hire a Professional Property Manager?

Making New Friends with Tenants

Friends on Porch

Make new friends, but keep your distance.

But what about becoming friends with a tenant? Is that okay?

It’s common for landlords to find they have some common interests with their tenants. It might be tempting to hang out or socialize with such a tenant, but avoid the urge.

Your tenant might make the perfect tennis partner, but what happens when the lease is up and you want to raise the rent?

It could get you into a emotionally laden situation that you’d rather avoid.

You are a landlord first, a friend second.

This Is Your Business

Being a landlord is a business, so don’t feel pressure to be the “cool” friend by letting your friends rent your property, or being the cool landlord by also being a friend. It usually works best if you treat your tenants in a professional and businesslike manner.

That means treating your tenants with respect.

I’ve heard some landlords say they treat their tenants as children who need to be managed. That’s the wrong mindset to have.

This isn’t a parent-child relationship. Unless you want your tenant to eventually rebel (children turn into teenagers), treat your tenant as a client you want to keep. After all, you need tenants to stay in business.

Related: How to Grow Amazing Tenants

The Ideal Situation

The best situations are ones where landlords and tenants respect each other and have good rapport.

If something needs fixing, you should handle it right away. If your tenant starts to pay the rent late, address that issue immediately.

Once you strike the right balance between being personable while still enforcing the rules, you’ll be good to go.

photo credit: Ed Yourdon via cc
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